Teacher Wars
by Karasu Kyra
Summary: AU Iruka finds his calculators missing and he knows Kakashi's the culprit. Naruto convinces him to retaliate and things only escalate from there... KakaIru


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Teacher Wars

By: Karasu Kyra

Iruka Umino grabbed a stack of folders from the backseat of his car and hurried in the doors of Konoha High School. He sent a hurried nod to the man working behind the administrative desk, bustling down the empty halls. He paused before a door and braced himself for the chaos he knew would be waiting inside for him.

Inside he found the students talking loudly and animatedly with each other. Two boys were throwing paper balls at each other. Another two girls were tossing a pen back and forth. One or two of his students were laying with their heads on their desks, probably sleeping.

Iruka drew in a breath and used his best listen-to-me-or-else voice to say, "Enough! In your seats!"

There was a consuming silence and the shuffling of chairs and feet and then all was deadly quiet. The brunette-haired man set his folders on his desk, suddenly wishing he had coffee. It certainly was a wonderful liquid, providing him with the energy he needed to make through the day. He suddenly realized his students were waiting for him to tell them what to do.

He rifled through his paper's and found what he would assign as a warm-up. He turned to the board to find a slightly shocking message written on the board. It read: 'Real math teachers do not need calculators.'

His gaze darted to where his calculators usually hung in a numbered organizer on a hook. It was missing. He turned a glare on his students. "Who did this?"

From the equally confused looks he got, he knew there was no way anyone in his class did it. If one of them did it, _someone_ would know something. He growled to himself.

Suddenly, he knew who did it. He growled out the name of the perpetrator. "Kakashi!"

One of his trouble-makers must have heard him--he always thought it was good to keep your mischeivious students near you, but maybe he needed to rethink that--because the blond perked up and grinned at him, with a glint in his blue eyes. "You should prank him back, Mr. Umino."

"That sort of retaliation solves nothing, Naruto." Iruka frowned.

"C'mon. It'll just be a harmless joke; I know the perfect thing to get him back."

He knew he would regret it, but the word was out of his mouth before he could stop himself. "Fine."

--o--o--

The next day found Iruka watching over his students as they blew up a bunch of balloons, seemingly having the time of their lives. They'd gotten themselves into some sort of competition to see who could blow up the most balloons. It was to his advantage, though. The sooner they were blown up, the sooner he could shove them into his storage closet and there was less chance someone would walk in and see.

By lunch, he'd filled his closet and three-quarters of his room with balloons. He told students that wanted to help to meet him at lunch. The brunette stared as students fidgeted with agitation, waiting for him to tell them it was okay to put the balloons in Señor Hatake's room.

At his nod, the students each had a hand-full of balloons in each hand that they put into their Spanish teacher's room. After everything was in there, Mr. Umino slid into the room, putting the final touches on everything by writing on the board: 'I've prepared your quinceañera. Perhaps now you'll grow up.'

He felt hypocritical telling a teacher he'd just pulled a prank on to grow up, but some things were necessary, and this was one of those things. Not only that, but he'd lowered himself to indirect name calling. Only female's had quinceañeras. Only fifteen-year old female's had quinceañeras.

He shook his head to himself and walked into his classroom and pulled his lunch out of his tiny refrigerator and sat down at his desk to eat. He'd just opened his sandwich when another teacher walked in.

"Hello, Kurenai," greeted Iruka.

She raised an eyebrow at his bored and looked at him questioningly.

Iruka looked sheepish when he answered. "Kakashi took my calculators."

"Well, what's with the look then?"

"I might have let a student convince me to prank him back...?"

Kurenai's eyebow's rose to her hairline but she didn't comment. She sat on one of the desks and crossed her arms looking at him thoughtfully.

"What?" he asked after swallowing a bite of his sandwich.

"You do realize this is just going to get worse, right?"

Iruka shrugged. He hadn't really thought about it.

--o--o--

The rest of the day went smoothly, with minimal interruptions and an attentive class. The brunette math teacher was packing up when he heard to girls coming down the hall, giggling. His ears perked up when he heard, "I wonder what Mr. Umino'll do when he finds out?"

The two girls irrupted into giggles, disappearing down another hall. Iruka frowned. Until he found out what? He sighed and grabbed the paper's he needed to correct that day and walked out to his car, shoving the folder in his mouth to dig out his keys.

When he got to his car, he did a double-take. Piled inside his car were dozens of rubber chickens. He put his folder on top of his car and unlocked the driver's side door. Chickens spilled out at his feet. How the hell was he supposed to get home? More importantly, where had Kakashi gotten this many rubber chickens during school, in such a short amount of time?

Angry, he slammed the door shut, grabbed his folder and spun around coming face-to-face with Kakashi, who was leaning against a car, parked in the middle of the drive-way. How had he gotten the car there without Iruka having heard it?

"Need a ride?" Kakashi asked nonchalantly.

Iruka scowled. "Not from you."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, looking amused. "How else are you getting home?"

"I'll walk," stated the math teacher, doing just that.

Kakashi just stared after him. It was only moments before Iruka turned and stormed over to the passenger side of the car and got in, slamming the door shut.

Amused, Kakashi slid into the driver's seat. He pulled his seatbelt on and pulled out of the parking lot. He kept stealing glances at the fuming teacher beside him.

Iruka must have noticed because he snapped out, "Keep you eyes on the road! It's your fault I'm in this predicament."

"Not entirely. My students helped, too."

Iruka made a disgusted noise and rolled his eyes. He ignored his co-worker until the silence became over-bearing. To fill the quiet, the math teacher asked, "How the hell did you get that many rubber chickens so quickly?"

"I asked Sasuke Uchiha to get them for me. He gets out of school at noon, so I bribed him into bringing them for me and doing the deed."

"Ah."

"So, where do you live?"

"In the Sunnyville apartments."

Kakashi hummed a noise of agreement, turning onto another road. They rode in silence until they reached the brunette teacher's apartment. Iruka found himself almost reluctant to leave the presence of the other man.

He shrugged it off and got out of the car, silently thanking the silver-haired teacher who said he'd pick Iruka up at six-thirty the next morning.

--o--o--

Iruka woke early the next morning, showering and making a pot of coffee. As he listened to the brown liquid seep through the filter into the pot, he glanced at the calender. He was pleasantly surprised to find that it was but a week from Valentine's Day.

He slipped outside to find his silver-haired co-worker already waiting for him. He slid into the passenger seat much more calmly than he had the first time. He politely thanked Kakashi as he slid on his safety belt.

As they drove, Iruka sipped his coffee and silently wished that he could ride with other man more often. He squashed that thought rather quickly and turned his head to the window to hide the blush he knew rose to his cheeks.

Apparently, Kakashi had seen the blush and decided to tease him about it. "Aww, are you blushing Iruka? Are you thinking naughty thoughts?"

The math teacher scowled at the Spanish teacher, even as his blush grew. "No."

Kakashi chuckled and pulled into the parking lot, parking his car next to Iruka's. Before Iruka could get out, though, Kakashi leaned over and grabbed his chin, kissing him chastely before the brunette could even think about protesting.

"Well, I think naughty thoughts about you," whispered the older man before walking toward the school, leaving a blushing Iruka in his car.

The math teacher shakily gathered his papers, ignoring the pleasant tingling in his lips. He walked into the school, but didn't make it into his room before Naruto Uzumaki fell into step beside him.

"You're blushing, Mr. Umino..." said the blonde slyly. He had a glint in his blue eyes like he knew something and did Sasuke just smirk at him?

Iruka opened his classroom door and went inside, Naruto following him, Sasuke not far behind.

"So, what do you think about Señor Hatake?"

"He's a friend, albeit an annoying one, but a friend nonetheless."

"Do you ever say...think about kissing him, or dating him...?" Naruto was grinning at the brunette and Sasuke was watching Naruto possessively.

Iruka gasped, blushing. "Of c-course not!"

Iruka had to hand it to himself. Not even he would believe that lie.

Naruto's grin grew and Sasuke was smirking again. Naruto reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope, Iruka's name written on it in the chicken-scratch he knew to be Kakashi's. He opened it and read: 'Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want you as mine, Iruka it's true.'

Iruka flushed and put the paper down on his desk. "Why don't you two go to class?"

The boys left the room, Naruto giggling the whole way.

The math teacher sat down at his desk. He jumped when the bell rang, signaling that his first hour class had five minutes to get into his room and into their seats.

Class started well, until a student walked into his room, giving him a rose saying, "From Señor Hatake."

Every three minutes, a student walked in until he was left with twelve roses. He ignored them, setting each one off to the side of his desk. After that, he managed his way through class rather well.

He jumped when the bell rang, telling the students they could go to lunch. For Iruka it spelled his doom. Iruka sighed and went about pulling his lunch from his mini-fridge, when Kakashi walked in the door, looking like he had not just professed his feelings to Iruka.

Iruka blushed and scowled at him. The scowl turned into a heated glare when the silver-haired man seated himself on the math teacher's desk.

"What do you want, Kakashi?"

Kakashi, for his part, looked surprised. "Why, it's not obvious yet?"

"I want to hear it from your lips."

"Iruka Umino, you fascinate me like no other and I would like it if you would go on a date with me."

Iruka stared. Did this man not know the term embarrassment? Iruka mentally shrugged. The brunette had been weighing his options all morning. After it was all layed out, there were few negatives in dating Kakashi.

In that, he said, "Yes. I would like to go on a date with you."

"Alright. Then, I'll pick you up at seven."

AN: Forgive my errors, I didn't have time to look this over. Please review!


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